Social media has become hurtful and cruel lately. At least sometimes it seems that way to me. I’m not a huge fan of social media, but especially the kind that sets out to pit someone against someone else, or intentionally be mean-spirited.
Vengeance is the act of seeking retribution or punishment against someone in response to a perceived wrong or harm they have caused. It’s often driven by feelings of anger, hurt, or injustice, and aims to “balance the scales” by causing the wrongdoer to experience a similar form of suffering or loss. Unlike justice, which is typically impartial and seeks fair outcomes, vengeance is more personal and fueled by emotional motives.
In literature and stories, vengeance is a common theme and can show both the destructive consequences of revenge and the intense, sometimes consuming desire for payback.
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” Romans 12:19[i]
A better approach than vengeance is often forgiveness or seeking justice through positive means. These alternatives are usually healthier in the long run, as they can prevent the cycle of resentment and allow you to focus on building a more positive future.
Grace and vengeance are two contrasting responses to being wronged, and they represent vastly different mindsets and outcomes.
Emotional Basis
- Grace is rooted in forgiveness, compassion, and empathy. It’s often about letting go of resentment and choosing to respond with understanding, even when hurt. Grace softens the heart and can foster healing.
- Vengeance, on the other hand, is fueled by anger, resentment, and the desire for retribution. It seeks to make the other person experience the same pain or loss. Vengeance tends to harden the heart, as it centers on payback and holding onto negative emotions.
- Intention
- Grace aims to restore peace, bring closure, and perhaps even reconcile. It’s a forward-looking choice that focuses on growth, healing, and moving beyond the conflict.
- Vengeance is backward-looking, focused on replaying the harm and achieving a sense of “balance” through retribution. The intent is to equalize the suffering, often at a personal cost.
- Impact on Self
- Grace often brings peace, as it releases the need for retribution. It allows the person wronged to move forward without the weight of lingering resentment.
- Vengeance can trap someone in a cycle of anger and bitterness. Even after enacting revenge, the emotional toll remains, and the satisfaction of revenge is often short-lived, sometimes leaving an emptiness instead.
- Impact on Relationships and Community
- Grace can mend relationships or, at the very least, reduce the likelihood of ongoing conflict. It’s more likely to inspire positive reactions from others and encourages a culture of forgiveness.
- Vengeance can escalate conflict, creating a “cycle of retaliation.” It tends to breed distrust and fear within relationships and communities and can isolate the person seeking revenge.
- Long-term Consequences
- Grace promotes inner growth and can lead to a sense of maturity and wisdom. It builds resilience and helps in finding closure without more hurt.
- Vengeance, by keeping wounds open, often prolongs suffering and can lead to regrets later. It might achieve temporary satisfaction, but it rarely brings lasting peace.
In sum, grace transcends pain by releasing it, while vengeance tries to match pain, keeping the wound alive. Grace fosters growth and peace, while vengeance often deepens division and emotional turmoil.
A Living Sacrifice – Romans 12
12 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Gifts of Grace
3 For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. 4 For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, 5 so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. 6 Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; 7 if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; 8 the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.
Marks of the True Christian
9 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. 17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Blessings,
Sandra
[i] English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.